How to Agree in Divorce and NOT lose? Use MEDIATION!
There are several reasons why divorce mediation is the best approach to divorce nowadays. Now that you and your partner have decided to go the divorce mediation path, it's critical that you don't lose sight of why you did so.
You hire a neutral specialist to help you through the divorce process and create a mutual agreement on all contested matters in a divorce mediation environment. Parties may reach a stalemate on some topics or grow vindictive throughout the process. Here are some useful hints for making the most of your divorce mediation so that you may reach a binding and unambiguous settlement.
Control Your Expectations
Our ideas about the future are expressed as expectations. Most individuals enter divorce mediation with preconceived notions about their rights, how the divorce process will likely unfold, and what will happen to their children.
There are two types of thinking, none of which is beneficial. First, there are some who have high hopes for the divorce and believe they will obtain all they desire. They believe they will receive the support, custody arrangement, and financial settlement that they desire. Second, there are those who believe that the divorce will be a tragedy and that they will receive the worst possible consequence.
Neither group is advantageous in divorce mediation since it impedes the bargaining process. Overly optimistic people, for example, tend to dig in their heels when they don't get what they feel they deserve. In contrast, the spouse with gloomy expectations will instinctively presume the other spouse's compromises are motivated by anything other than love.
It is vital to accurately measure your expectations. Isn't it true that it's easier said than done? Rely on the mediator to assist you in meeting those expectations and summarizing the material of each mediation session.
Be Prepared
Divorce is a document-driven procedure that requires both parties to share financial declarations, including supporting papers, outlining all assets and obligations. This may be a time-consuming procedure, which is one of the reasons why divorces might last 6 to 18 months!
In reality, the court will not process a dissolution ruling unless each party has exchanged their financial declaration of disclosures, known as the "Preliminary Declaration of Disclosures."
Describe Your Goals
You will never obtain what you want if you demand it. The most effective bargaining strategy is to describe what you want and why it is a legitimate request.
Explaining your goals to the mediator does two things: 1) it defines each party's priorities, and 2) it helps the mediator to provide acceptable settlement possibilities. It's crucial to recognize that the goal you're attempting to attain can often be done in a variety of methods.
Finally, as the drafter of your Marital Settlement Agreement, the mediator must comprehend your wishes in order to develop a legal document that is clear and accurate. In the event that either party goes to court to enforce an MSA, an unclear settlement agreement might cause problems for all parties.
Do Not Fight Over Principles
Don't battle over the concept if you don't want to spend your last dollar battling your ex. This isn't a class action lawsuit, and you won't gain anything for free by labeling a party wicked or evil. Divorce (and divorce mediation) affects your finances, your marriage, and your time. It's critical to not get bogged down in the details and lose sight of the broader picture.